My Name is Hurl

So what's premiering tonight? I'm so glad you asked.

Well, on NBC we've got My Name is Earl. Yes, Jason Lee putting dork-ass expressions on his face while looking like a guy who is trying to look like a hick. See, hicks don't always look like the stereotype... the mussed hair, the craggy facial hair, the general unkempt look. See, sometimes they look just like you and me.

Ah, but Jason Lee, clearly a skilled actor, is going to play this one for laughs. Only it's not funny -- it looks horrendously stupid. I read one review that said it was a good -- and "sometimes funny." Outstanding! A comedy that is sometimes funny! The gist is that Jason Lee, aka Earl the hillbilly, is a lousy guy who has lived a lousy life. Okay, that has the potential to be funny. But then he wins the lottery and decides to "go straight." Whether this means he was previously gay or not is irrelevant and wouldn't be enough to make me interested in this anyway. So then he goes around righting his wrongs like someone who just found out they have cancer and wants to apologize to all the people he farted next to on the subway. One early storyline involves Earl helping a friend who he used to make life miserable for come out of the closet. Hilarious.

But hey, what sitcoms are left that are even remotely funny at all? I mean, what sitcoms do you watch? Another one coming back tonight is According to Jim, which, according to me, royally sucks. I mean, any show where the laughter being piped in is so incredibly forced and obnoxious just turns me off immediately. In the premiere tonight, Jim's wife makes a comment about "the beer talking" when Jim says something. To which Jim wittily replies, "Since when do we not listen to beer in this house?" And the "audience" howls with side-splitting laughter. There is also a scene wherein Jim is at a sporting event with his son and remarks that the day can't get any better -- when scantily clad women come on the scene, he opines "It just got better!" Ha! Can you believe that crazy Jim?? Ah, yes. Do you think they ever look at a script and go, "You know, this really isn't funny at all?" Or are they just thankful that they get to cash a paycheck that is most likely unreasonably large?

Not premiering tonight, but equally as stupid, is the CBS show King of Queens, so named because the fat loser who is the main character lives in Queens. Geddit?? Let me ask you this: how come the fat, moronic losers in these alternate realities end up with hot chicks like Leah Remini and Courteny Thorne-Smith? I mean, shouldn't there be some semblance of believeability? Not only that, but it's always the same tired, stupid theme -- man, dumb; woman, disapproving and then accepting. It's the same formula the fuckin' Honeymooners used fifty years ago! And it wasn't particuarly clever then!! This is why when a show like Seinfeld comes along people are thrilled because it's actually original enough not to use the same tired plot.

In other sitcom news, Doogie Howser is back on TV, now 32 and no longer a genius doctor. No, now he just looks like an somewhat older nerd with the same pencil neck. Here's hoping he sits down at the end of the premiere episode of How I Met Your Mother and types a little soliloquy about how hard life can be for a child actor.

And the other positive things I'll say in this post is to watch Scrubs and The Office. Frankly, I think they're the only two decent comedies left on television.